Archive for June, 2008

End of the weekend.

The weekend past by so fast and tomorrow, it’s back to school again. I know I’ve been whining about going to school and all that, but I just can’t help it.

I’m tired of going to school and I don’t like it. School is getting stressful for me and I think that shouldn’t be the case. I agree that now, we should be given a lot of work, a lot of revision and there’s no time to waste. I’m not complaining about the teachers, lessons or homework. I know they’re there for a good reason and I appreciate that.

The problem is me. I have a problem staying awake during Physics lessons and maybe Biology too. I won’t blame Mr Tong for Physics cause the subject itself is not my interest. It’s difficult to catch my attention. Even though I was dozing off in class, I really did my best not to do it. So far, I managed to stop myself. It is extremely difficult to keep yourself awake when your mind and body is shutting down. Like what Miss Krishnan mentioned, terrorists torture their hostages by not allowing them to sleep. Indeed, it was a torture trying not to sleep.

Another problem with me is I have a lot of mood swings. Too much that I think people are freaked out by me. I’m not too sure about what they feel about it, but sometimes I can sense that they can’t tolerate me being like this. Sometimes, I just don’t want to talk to anyone, other than my closest online friends. Sometimes, I just wish everyone would leave me alone. While other times, I wish people are there, but I’m usually left alone.

Nowadays, I’ve been sneezing so much. >< I wake up at night and sneeze for such a long time, affecting my rest. In the day, I kept reaching for tissue papers. My throat is still unwell. Really, should I visit a doctor? I can’t seem to answer that question everytime. “It depends,” And usually, no matter the answer is a “yes” or “no”, I will end up not visiting the doctor. Oh wells.

Off to bed now. Just wish I can stop sneezing… :l

I DON’T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW. :X

One week of school is over…

Today, it finally marks the end of the first week of school. I’m not sure to describe it as fast or slow. The weekend seemed so far away when I returned to school on Monday and now, it’s Friday night, going to move on to the weekend. I think I’ll briefly talk about my days at school for this week.

23 June 2008

First day of school, I had a bad feeling about it. As mentioned on Sunday, I didn’t finish all my work. In the end, Miss Krishnan was appalled, just the way she put it. I guess I deserve that. Not doing the summaries means not doing the whole paper 2. So, I had my hands up for all the papers. Yes, I felt guilty and sorry for Miss Krishnan and the people who did the work. I mean, Miss Krishnan is a good English teacher. She puts in a lot of effort to help us and I think he methods are very useful. But I was such a disappointment. So, after school, I told myself that I must finish up the work by the next day, no matter what.

After school, I went to Sengkang library to complete a comprehension and some summaries. I finished 2 storylines until 19:45 out and went home. After showering, I managed to finish my Geography essay on GM at 22:30. I went to bed at 23:30 and woke up at 04:00 the next morning to finish up all the storylines. Oh wells.

24 June 2008

Second day of school, I was glad that I finished all the storylines. In the end, we didn’t need it. :X That’s okay. At least I don’t need to do it next time. Social studies lesson turned out to be better than expected. The smiley and cheerful Miss Lo is back and I love the jokes in class as we learned about Venice as a great city-state in the past.

After school, we had to go for the photo taking for the Student Council and PH Times. The Student Council one took rather long. We had to put on ties and blazers as the ex-Executive Committee and stand under the scorching sun up above.  The sunlight was pretty glaring too. It makes me wonder why they chose to take the photographs at that hour, and out in the open. The PH Times photo shoot was FAST. I ran there, posed for 2 shots and it was over.

25 June 2008

Third day of school and I could feel the lethargy. I guess it was due to overworking and the lack of sufficient rest. I just made use of free time to try to complete some assignments. I really don’t wish to disappoint any teachers anymore. I looked for Miss Lo after school to ask her about the Source-Based Questions (SBQs) that were given as homework. The cartoon was so difficult to infer, for me at least. With so little understanding about Venice, it was even tougher. Thank goodness after consulting her, I understood much more! (: And I also realised that I wasn’t totally wrong too. 🙂 So, I finished up all the questions before heading home.

26 June 2008

Forth day of school… Thursday. I was afraid that I can’t survive the Biology marathon at the end of the day. 2 hours and 30 minutes of Biology lesson. It was so LONGGGGGGG… But it wasn’t too bad when we started revising the chapters taught last year. I was quite surprised that I could select the information from my brain. It was kind of fun actually. There was also a new Biology teacher that joined our class, Miss Tan.

After school, I had lunch with Dory and her mom. Her mom was really nice. (: Then we studied together. I intended to go home earlier to do some work, but I didn’t manage to do it. :X

27 June 2008

Today! Friday, finally. We had PE! I like PE cause it’s the only lesson that I can relax a bit and vent everything in sports. I played badminton with Gena and it was a great game. On Fridays, we are suppose to have a longer recess. It turned out to be.. not exactly long.

After recess was 2 periods of PHYSICS. Zomg. Physics really really puts me to sleep! I didn’t sleep though. We were learning electromagnetism, d.c. motor and a.c. (something). I didn’t quite understand it and was spamming Mr Tong with questions! I guess that was the thing that was keeping me awake. :X

When lessons FINALLY ended, I fell asleep while waiting for Shi Min to ask Mr Tong some questions. I waited cause she said we’re studying together at Compass Point. When I woke up 20 minutes later, Mr Tong had left the class. I was wondering what we were waiting for. Then Shi Min told me that she isn’t going to study with me anymore and is heading home. All of them were heading home. I was like… I waited for nothing.

I was also curious why Dory didn’t look for me at my class. I walked over to her class without a word and found out that she left the class already cause she was upset. So, I tried asking around for her and Chin Yi told me that Dory had left the school. Feeling a little fooled, I walked out of the school and called her. She told me that she was walking home already. She was suppose to study with me. >< So, I was left alone and headed for the LRT station.

When I reached the platform, the train just arrived but I couldn’t board it as it was too crowded. That aggravated my sadness. I sat on the bench to wait for the next train. Some people came over and it really makes me sick. I don’t like the presence of those people. I just felt like running away. But I called Shi Min and she told me she just left the class and they will be leaving the school. So, I told her that I’ll just wait for her at the LRT station.

4 trains came and left. I felt like boarding the train when the first one came. It made me wonder why I told Shi Min I’ll wait. But I just waited. I waited for too long and I was feeling really really weird to be at that place alone. I didn’t like the feeling at all. I called Shi Min again and couldn’t reach her. When she called back, she was like, ‘Don’t tell me you’re still waiting for us at the LRT station.’ I was like, ‘Duh?!’ Like, of course I’m still there! I told you I’ll be waiting for you! You thought I was kidding? Then she said, ‘Oh no. We;ve decided to take the bus. I forgot you’re waiting for us. It’s faster for us by bus anyway.’ I was feeling terrible! I was already upset and this one really made me cry (but I held back the tears of course). I went like.. ‘Oh my f-ing (use of the ‘f’ word is totally rare for me and I use it when things reaches its limit) god! I’ve been waiting and 4 trains have came and left!’ She apologised but I didn’t want to talk anymore. I just said goodbye  to her.

I felt like a TOTAL FOOL today. I should’ve boarded the train!! I wasted so much time. Why did I even offered to wait? Cause I was silly and stupid. These stuff really spoilt my mood the WHOLE DAY. I wanted to wait for them as I thought maybe not taking the train alone will help me. But I was wrong. Offering to wait for them had led to an even worst mood.

Another thing that makes me wonder, since morning, is… What’s wrong with people these days?? Pissed with me? Upset with me? Or what? What the hell did I do? Not inviting you for my birthday? Come on! I can’t believe you guys, my ‘supposedly’ FRIENDS will be so cold towards me for not inviting you! I can understand if you’re my best friend and I didn’t invite you. But, that’s not the case. :l I can’t possibly invite everyone I know! Mom limited the number to 10 and I had 15. Adding one doesn’t make a difference? If everyone says that to me, doesn’t that make a difference??

I really can’t believe what I’m facing these days. I said ‘hi’ and no one gives a damn. I wave to you, you ignore me. You ain’t talking to me and pretend I’m invisible. Are you guys REALLY my friends? Thank you so much for making me reconsider it. It really makes me feel like being alone than watch all these happen in front of me. Just stop it.

Now, it makes me feel like saying this so much: I LOVE YOU, NATALIA, JAKE and GREGORY!!

Tomorrow is the dragon boat race! 08:00 at Bedok Reservoir. That’s so early. Think I can catch up with more sleep on the bus. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

lots of love,
jaslyn . huishan

Misunderstood me.

I think I just feel like posting this. I wanted to update only after the first week of school has ended. But some things just happened these few days. People seem to misunderstand me and misread my facial expressions these days.

Being pretty exhausted and still trying really hard, I may look a bit weird. Like… I just want to get my work done and get my rest. My ‘serious’ look or look with ‘no facial expressions’ seem to make people think that I’m upset or unhappy.

Online, the only thing I could use to express myself is words. Somehow, my words are often misunderstood too. I’m just curious, which part is it so hard to understand? Some things may be hard to express, especially when you want to tell the other person something that isn’t very pleasant (but it’s a fact), yet you just don’t wish to hurt that person. I did my best to express it in the most harmless way. Instead, I was being mistaken TOTALLY, and in a way that I NEVER thought it would. It turned out to be extremely negative. Oh gosh.

Argh. Sometimes I just wonder if I should just stop talking and all that. Be alone, and no one will give a damn.

I’ll update my blog again tomorrow.

End of the holidays

Time passes really fast and it’s the end of the June holidays! Awww… I won’t deny that I’m reluctant to return to school, unlike 2 years back when I just couldn’t wait for school to start. I guess when I return to school tomorrow, I’ll be expecting lots of drillings and practices that would probably drive me nuts. Preliminary examinations are nearing, so is the ‘O’ Levels. Apparently, I’m not prepared.

I planned to use the June holidays to revise ALL my subjects but I failed to do so. In fact, I failed to complete all my assignments as well. I’m prepared for the worst when I go back to school tomorrow. Nevertheless, I’ll get the homework done as soon as possible.

The June holidays flew pass and I did close to zero revision. Basically, I was trying my best to adjust my mind and body to a less stressful state first, so that I’ll be prepared for the longer and more taxing journey ahead of me. I can’t say that I’ve achieved that and am fully well, but I’m PROBABLY feeling better than before.

Actually, I feel extremely guilty. I felt like a slacker this holiday yet I can’t really do anything about it. I mean, I tried to sit down and do my work, but I just couldn’t concentrate on my work. Even A. Math that used to make me really excited, it didn’t make me excited at all. I had lots of problems trying to solve the math problems and that’s really demoralising.

Well, I guess tomorrow is the start of a new term, I got to forget about all the crap during the holidays and concentrate on my studies. I really have no idea how it’ll work out. I could see myself studying REALLY HARD from tomorrow onwards, but I could also see myself having troubles concentrating as well. I’ll just wish for the best to happen.

Today, I went back to Kallang for my FIRST dragon boat training after 6 to 7 months! The feeling was odd when I first entered the Kallang Water Sports Centre because as usual, I’m the earliest in my team. I saw Audrey, Yenting, and a group of Punggol Central CSC dragon boat team members;my ex-teammates. I walked towards Audrey to greet her (and from what I remembered, she was suppose to be in my current team) and the rest. Everyone was surprised to see me there cause I guess they are aware that I’ve stopped training 6 months ago to prepare for my ‘O’ Levels. Apart from that, they were curious which team I was rowing for, cause some things happened last year and we had to ‘choose’ who to follow. I chose to follow coach which also means that I’ll be leaving Punggol Central CSC to join the Yio Chu Kang CSC Dragon boat team.

Whem I saw Notti, I felt better cause before that, I was feeling really awkward with my ex-teammates. Notti told me that many things happened when I wasn’t going for trainings. Most of the older teammates have left the team, leaving just 4 of us, the ‘older’ teammates. There were so many new faces! And they were probably wondering who was this random girl who appeared from nowhere.

Training was really tiring today, considering that I haven’t been training for 6 to 7 months! I was afraid that I couldn’t row at all! But fortunately, I managed to keep up and endure all the way. 🙂 Actually, the feeling was good to be back rowing again! But anyway, I’ll only be rowing for next week’s race and I’ll stop rowing for another 5 months.

The race next week is the SIngapore Dragon Boat Festival. It’ll be at Bedok Reservoir on 29 June 2008. The race is like… EIGHT-HUNDRED METRES! Zomg. I just hope I can endure that long. It’s going to be tough but oh wells, I’ll just give it a shot. 🙂

Tonight, being the last night of the June holidays, I hope that it’ll be enjoyable and fun. But at the moment, I ain’t having any fun. :X I hope I will soon.

All the best to everyone and see you guys back in school tomorrow!

lots of love,
jaslyn.huishan.

Happy 16th Birthday to myself! :D

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Back row (left to right): Chad, Barry, Tuan Anh, Khairul, Shi Min
Middle row (left to right): Desmond Boey, Dominic Boey, me, Huiling, Dory
Front row (one and only): Jon

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Dory and I (:

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Lovely cut that I got on my palm when I was climbing. haha.

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Me, Shimin and Khairul

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Shimin, Khairul and Tuan Anh

You know, I’m just coming on to update my blog a bit cause I’m 16 now! haha. That’s not the main reason actually. 😉 I’m actually here to thank people. haha. All the presents and wishes!! 😀

Before my birthday:

  1. JAKE! (lovely presents from Ukraine!)
  2. Jon
  3. Will (from Hawaii)
  4. Teacher (from the U.S.)
  5. Ya Ze
  6. Lois
  7. Garfield

After 00:00:

  1. Lois! (yes! You beat Jon!)
  2. Gena!! (Thank you so much!)
  3. Jake! (well, not too bad. 😛 Ranked first on the ‘overseas friends’ list’. ;))
  4. Khairul
  5. NATALIA! (from Uruguay :)) (I’m sorry that you couldn’t reach me on the cell phone! :X)
  6. Alastair
  7. Amanda Ting
  8. Jon
  9. Dory
  10. Barry
  11. Jon (thank you so much for the notebook and card!!)
  12. Jon’s random friend (hahah.)
  13. Huiling
  14. Barry
  15. Dory (thanks for the Chocolate Digestives!!)
  16. Chad (thanks for the red packet! hahah. That was special. :P)
  17. Shi Min
  18. Khairul
  19. Wendy
  20. Desmond & Dominic Boey (thank you so much for the Kungfu Panda shirt and Card!! :D)
  21. Yi Qian (thanks for remembering it. 😛 Didn’t expect it actually. heh)
  22. Nicholas
  23. Shi Min & Khairul (thanks for putting the present in my bag secretly! hahah. Lovely colour pens and I love those photos!!! Awesome motivation!! THANKS!!)
  24. Gena & Cristina (thank you so much for the T-shirt!! :D)
  25. Paws (from Canada) (thanks!! :D)
  26. Mr Nizam (thanks for the birthday cake on Facebook! haha)
  27. Will’s SKYPECAST!!! (thanks for the surprise birthday song when I just entered the room! hahah!)
  28. Jason Boey (thanks!)
  29. Audrey
  30. Eugenie (from Russia)
  31. Vincent (from Dallas)
  32. Tina (from Mississippi)
  33. Mi5underSto0D
  34. Audrey
  35. Fai Ming

I want to thank everyone for coming to join me at West Coast Park as I spend my 16th birthday. 🙂 Although it rained, we had lots of fun, didn’t we? haha. Also, for those who couldn’t make it and stuff, thank you so much for the wishes, songs, and presents! It’s really sweet of you guys!! <3333

Also, I want to thank mom for cooking all those delicious food and dad for driving my friends and I around. 😛

Well, I had a good day today!! Once again, thanks everyone!! 😛