Feelings.

I went to the polyclinic to get my throat checked since my throat has been feeling kind of uncomfortable since last year. I didn’t tell Mom cause I knew what I would be expecting from her — hurtful words. Dalilah was really nice to accompany me to the polyclinic. It was a really long wait and finally, it was my turn to consult the doctor.

The doctor I was consulting was kind of weird and I didn’t quite like her actually, I entered the consultation room and she didn’t even look at me. She just ask in a way that I didn’t like, ‘Tell me what’s wrong.’ I just said and she seemed irritated and not interested at all. I was thinking, why is that I always have bad experiences with polyclinic doctors? They just seem to be so mean and rude. :X I didn’t like it at all.

She said that it’s probably anxiety disorder (again), and prescribed some clonazepams (benzodiazepines) for me to relieve the anxiety, Sigh. Then she asked me to go for a blood test to ensure that whatever that I experience is not hyperthyroidism. So, I went to the lab and had my blood test. They used a Vacutainer tube and not a syringe, thank goodness. I think I prefer the Vacutainer tube. I watched as my blood flow into the tube. It looked so watery. haha. Now, my right arm feels numb and I can’t write properly. Needless to say, I can’t carry heavy things. >< So, next week, I need to return to the polyclinic to collect my test results.

I felt so sad today too. Danny returned to school today and I saw him as he walked towards Miss Lim. From his face, I saw sorrow. I felt my heart cry as I saw that. I felt extremely for him that he lost his father at such a young age. It’s just so difficult to accept. Thinking about it just makes me want to cry and tears just fill my eyes. As his classmate and friend, I’m really really concerned about him. I am really looking out for him the whole day, to ensure that he’s not alone, going through this tough period alone. I just wish there’s something I can do to help him…

Tomorrow is the interview for my DPA! I’m going to go there and give me best shot. I only have this one chance, and I got to make sure that for this one chance, I do my best. I want to walk out of the interviewing room, telling myself that I did my best and I am going to be selected for the course. All the way!

Untitled.

I realised I haven’t blogged for the past few days. :X I’m just so glad that Shi Min and I have been shortlisted for an interview at Singapore Polytechnic for Biomedical Science. I also want to congratulate Amanda Ting for being shortlisted for an interview at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Basically, we applied for Direct Polytechnic Admission (DPA) online and yeah, were shortlisted for an interview. I’m actually really really excited for it!! So excited that Shi Min and I kept discussing about it. 😛 In addition, I wish to congratulate Gena and Alastair for their successful applications to Nanyang JC and Temasek JC respectively. 😀 I hope that the 3 of us will be as successful as them too. 😉

Today, I went to watch The Dark Knight with Dory, Shi Min and Shi Min’s sister. It was an awesome movie! Finally! hahaha. Waited for 7 – 8 months! 😛 And, in the evening, I went to Fort Canning Park with lovely Megan (my niece), my cousins and my younger sister to watch Ballet Under the Stars. 🙂 The ballet performance was nice and the picnic was super cool cause cousin Elaine brought my favourite food!! She doesn’t know that they are my favourites, but I was lucky. 😛 They were POTATO WEDGES and SMOKED SAUSAGES!! Yum!!

I had so much to say the past few days when I didn’t get to blog. But now.. I think I forgot what I wanted to say. >< Nevermind then. Looking forward to Tuesday! 😀

Geography, I dislike you. Get out of my life, please.

I’m really losing interest in studying. >< That shouldn’t be the case, especially at this point of time. Prelims is in 3 weeks. Os is in 3 months. Don’t study = goodbye to everything.

I don’t know, I’m so freaking sick of doing humanities. They just bore me out and my mind totally switch off. I totally have no interest in them and I can’t believe it’s the same for Geography too. I guess that’s probably because of HUMAN GEOGRAPHY (specifically development and geography of food). Recently, we’ve been doing so much about human geography that I’m so sick of it. I’ve got 2 SEQs to do on Geography of Food. Argh. I can’t stand doing them anymore. I barely know anything about Geography of Food. Sigh. I just don’t wish to do it, though I’m still trying my best to do it. The efficiency isn’t there. I’m doing it sooooo slowly. ):

How can humanities be affecting my interesting in studying? It’s ridiculous. I can’t believe that I’m made to study 2 subjects that I dislike, at the cost of my studying interest. Oh wells. I freaking need to take a break from humanities and concentrate on BIOLOGY!! I’ve been neglecting Biology! Thursday is Biology mock exam and I haven’t study for it! I intended to do it today! Argh. I have a whole pile of diagrams to label and write down the functions. Deadline is Thursday too. Now, I’m left with tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’ll be kind of busy cause I need to attend a wake. (I’m really sorry to hear that, Danny. ): I’ll tell you more in the card.)

I’ll just wish myself good luck. I don’t wish to continue any further.

Racial Harmony Day!

Indians: Jia Ying, Me, Gena
Malays: Vivian, Shi Min
Japanese: Amanda, Lois

Shi Min, Me and Gena 🙂

Amanda and I

Amanda and Vivian

Lovely Dalilah with an umbrella (Gena’s umbrella) that matches her clothes.

Jian Wei, Mr Tong (my form teacher and physics teacher!) and Christopher.

Guys of my class. 😛

Girls of my class 😛

Me, DORY and Shi Min.

Me and Lois! She looks so good in the kimono. 🙂

Barry and Lois

Dory and Lois

Lois, Dalilah and Dory!

Lois, Dalilah, Dory and I

JON, me, Pearlyn and Lois. 🙂

Chad, Desmond Khoo, Amanda, Lois, VIvian and me.

Barry, Shi Min and I

Barry and Shi Min

Me, Ping Hui and Shi Min

Fatehah, Shi Min and Dalilah

Class party at the canteen!! So messy. :X

Class photo with special people in it. They are Miss Krishnan (extreme left in pink. English Teacher), Mrs Yao (center of picture in green. Vice-Principal) and Mr Ho (in between Jian Wei and Ping Hui. A. Math & E. Math teacher).

Eczema is back! ><

I figured that my eczema has returned. >< The heat and humidity have been making me perspire, causing irritation to my skin. No wonder I’ve been scratching and feeling itchy all the time the past few days. Sigh. I just wish this will stop soon. It’s kind of irritating to keep scratching or slapping myself.

Anyway, Chemistry mock exam today was pretty simple. 😛 It wasn’t as tough as expected cause it wasn’t a paper set by Mrs Lim. hehe. It was actually the June 2008 paper 2.

After that, I went to Little India to buy a sari with my classmates and Miss Krishnan. Hehe. I bought a black sari. 😛 Pictures of me in sari will be up on Monday. xP

Kebaya! :P

Me, Shi Min and Dalilah!

Shi Min, Dalilah and Me in Tudong!

Us again with our spectacles! It’s funny. I do look Malay without my glasses (refer to previous photo) and when I put on my glasses, I look… non-Malay. haha.

Me and Dalilah in Kebaya!

Us again, now, me without spectacles. See any difference? 😛

Well, Dalilah likes this pose. So, I just copied her. haha.

Dalilah and Shi Min in Kebaya! 😀

After school today, Shi Min and I went to Dalilah’s house (which is so near the school. haha) and tried the Kebaya! It was so fun. haha. I intended to wear a sari on Monday, so, I’ll be going to Little India to buy tomorrow. Hehe. But I still tried Kebaya just in case I don’t want to buy the sari.

Hmm… Dalilah taught us how to wear the Tudong. heheh. It was so cool. 😛 I think I looked quite funny when I have my glasses on but I looked kind of Malay without my glasses. xP

Anyway, PE today was great! We played Captain’s Ball again and they decided to regroup us. So, I wasn’t in the same group as some people. But anyway, my team still won! My team won last week as well! 😀 15 – 11 today. I was playing the game but was too dumb and kept throwing in the wrong direction. So, I became the catcher (as usual :D). haha. I love being the catcher. 🙂 I guess I’m still best at catching the ball at the ‘goal area’. 😛

Tomorrow is Chemistry mock exam! I was studying for it just now and fell asleep halfway through cause I was feeling so tired! :X I was doing some notes not long ago. I’ll get back to it soon. 🙂 After Chemistry tomorrow, I may go to Little India, then go to Cineleisure for THE DARK KNIGHT! 😀

Can’t wait for Monday! 😛

English – An interesting language that is easy and difficult.

I received my English composition today and I scored 22/30. It was a disappointment. Many people managed to hit a 24/30, but what was wrong with my composition? I know the answer. (:

I looked through my essay and still think that it is VERY LOW STANDARD. The first 2 paragraphs are fine, with the medical terms and stuff. However, from paragraph 3 onwards, everything became too simple. The thing is, I know it is simple, yet I don’t know how to change it to make it sound more complex.

Basically, for my writing, I need VIVID VOCABULARY! I have super limited vocabulary. ): I went through the whole essay several times and figured that I should describe the feelings more, making it more sentimental. Apart from that, I got to elaborate more at certain areas and describe more than tell!

I’ll do my best to improve it, hopefully to a unrecognizable piece of work. 😛

No Mathematics tomorrow! What a torture.

Just like this, it’s Thursday tomorrow. I usually look forward to this cause finally I’ve gone through half of the school days. But then, for this term, we have no mathematics lessons on Thursdays! That’s like so sad. Mathematics is the only lesson that will keep me awake for the rest of the day. Instead, we have a Biology marathon on Thursdays. I just wish that it’ll be good.

I spent my whole afternoon and part of the evening trying to complete TWO SEQs! That is so much time used and energy too! I was so tired of everything I was writing! I think halfway through the essay, I didn’t even know what I was writing. I think there are A LOT of sentence structure errors that requires just too much time and concentration to rephrase. I think as I typed out the answers, I was so blur and uncertain about what I was typing. That’s just too terrible cause it means I’ll be submitting crappy work tomorrow. :X

I’ll stop here for today cause if I go on, I won’t probably make any sense cause my mind is in a mess right now.

I just want to relax before I go to bed.

Speed vs Quality. Which would you prefer?

Just when I mentioned yesterday about how I rather not do something when I have to rush through it, we were given a class assignment that has to do with speed. We were given AHS’07 English Paper 2 (Comprehension) in class and were asked to decode the passage. First thing we had to do was skim through the passage, timing how long we took to finish it. This was a group work and I was the time keeper. As a (very) slow reader, it was a crazy thing for me! I had to keep up with my group, or rather, not slow them down. So, I just read a sentence or two quickly for each paragraph. Needless to say, I wasn’t even absorbing anything. I was kind of just recognising the words and acknowledging their presence in the passage. :l The feeling totally sucked cause I felt so useless. All of them finished reading and I was still slow. So, I just gave time the time taken (6 mins), and we moved on to the next part – analysing.

With me ‘reading’ at the speed and not absorbing anything, it was almost impossible for me to analyse anything. Lois was doing really well. In fact, she was the first to finish reading the passage and started analysing before we did. She started sharing her views with us. Dalilah added on some points. And Gena was analysing the passage. For myself, I was trying very hard to do it but I failed to do anything. I couldn’t not decide what to do – to listen to them discuss and take note of them in the passage, analyse everything by myself, or to do both. Since I was confused, I just did both. It was a huge mess and I got upset with myself. I wasn’t happy with my performance in this task. I was inefficient, ineffective and helpless. That is the result when I’m made to speed read (which apparently I can’t do) and analyse it without knowing what everyone else in the group was talking about.

More homework again, but I’m glad to say that I’ve more or less finished the 2 NYGH papers for Chemistry! Now, I’ll move on to the 2 SS SEQs! The questions are so tough! Anyway, I’ll still have to do it. Today we have one new E. Math paper from YTSS since Mr Ho wasn’t able to go to our class for lessons.

I was thinking about this when I was on the bus: Why are we made to complete one whole pile of homework in such a short time, but in the end, we didn’t have to submit then or go through them? It happened so many times. I flipped through my file and saw many assignments that are done but never brought up by the teacher after that. The worst thing is, some of these assignments were given during the period of time when we had a lot of homework. So, they were done during my sleeping time. Imagine, sacrificing your sleep to complete these assignments yet they are ‘not actually due the next day’, or even after weeks. Then what for sacrifice my sleeping time for these assignments?

I guess recently, I just have a huge problem with rushing homework. :X

Uncertain about deadlines.

Homework are usually given with a deadline and apparently, we’re expected to complete them by the given date. That, I have not much problems unless there are too many homework that I can’t finish them on time.

However, recently, homework for every subject starts to increase and the total number of homework also increases. That isn’t the worst thing. The worst is, we are not even sure by when do we have to complete them. Of course, some homework comes with deadline. So, we’ll definitely do these homework since we know when we are expected to submit it or go through it.

Today, I realised I have a huge problem with homework and deadlines. During Chemistry lesson, we were going through the NYGH’07 paper. But, none of us in Einsteinium (our group name) has done a single question. Were we informed that we will be going through this paper on Monday (today)? If we were, then it’s our fault. But if we weren’t, I don’t know what to say. We just delegated the job, like, each of us do 8 questions. I didn’t even have the mood to do it because what’s the point of doing it when you are rushing through it and not concentrating on the thought process?

After Chemistry lesson, we were given the NYGH’06 paper. Once again, the deadline wasn’t stated. I started doing this paper during my free period. As I did it, I made side notes and jot down my thought process, as usual. This is pretty time consuming, but I think it’s extremely helpful as I get to revise a few things for each question. In 50 minutes, I only managed to complete 13 multiple-choice questions. :X I enjoy putting in a lot of effort when I do something. I rather not do it if I have to rush through it or do a sloppy job.

Another example is the Social Studies Structured-Essay Questions (SEQs). Last week, I recall Miss Lo mentioning that the remaining two questions, we can take our time to finish them. She said she just wants the SEQ about traffic flow (which I’ve already submitted). But then, today, I was told by one of my classmates that we are supposed to submit the two other SEQs by tomorrow. I was so surprised. I wanted to do it yesterday but decided to do some SS notes since I thought we could take our time to complete the SEQs. Now, I’m still pretty uncertain about it. The questions are also very tough. >< I’ve been waiting for Miss Lo’s reply since the afternoon, but I have yet to receive any replies. I understand that cause she has a staff meeting today. I really hope I can receive a reply from her to clear my doubts.

After school, I went to Dory’s house to study (or rather, do homework). Shi Min and I wanted to start on the SEQs first but realised that we could hardly answer it. Considering the fact that we were still uncertain about the deadline, we decided to do our NYGH papers first. I only left her house at 18:30 which was quite late to me.

Miss Krishnan said that tomorrow, we’ll be getting homework from her. Hmm… I’m pretty scared of homework now. It really affects my whole study plan. I haven’t been keeping to my study plan for the past week! That’s way too terrible. I really doubt I can stick to my study plan this week too. There are so many homework coming in that I totally lost track of what homework we have and the deadline for each of them. Apart from homework, mock exams and tests are also coming. This Saturday, we have to go to school for Chemistry mock exam. That means, I have to study all 25 chapters within this week. How scary is that? ><

As I did the Chemistry work today, I realised that I’ve forgotten many things. It’s either I was too tired or I was having a mind block. I don’t think it’s possible to forget those things. I’ll study Chemistry the whole day tomorrow (if there are no homework due on Wednesday)! Furthermore, I’m dismiss from school at 12:00 tomorrow. PERFECT! 😛

That’s about it for today. (: I just want to let all my friends, especially my besties, know that I love you guys!! 😀